My gift

Being permeable

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Everyone possesses a certain, incredible ability, but few recognize it in themselves or speak about it. Here, the same protective mechanisms operate as in dependencies: taboo, shame, lack of social acceptance, and to some extent guilt — since one "could" occupy oneself with something useful instead.

But what is more sensible than engaging with oneself and having the courage to share it?

This too forms part of the concept at a more advanced stage.

Beyond my operationalizable qualities — which, as shown in the mind-map, can be quantifiably surveyed — due to good contacts in the "serious, reputable, acceptable, recognized spiritual scene," I'm occasionally asked what my gift is.

This question clearly targets my spirituality and isn't entirely simple to answer. Still, it's a valid part of my self-concept, which will gain certain relevance during our collaboration without needing to become significant for you.

I classify anything else clearly as conditioning or indoctrination, contradicting my neutrality precept and clashing with my ethical and moral notions of a knowledge alliance.

Personally, I consider categorizing into agnostics, atheists, theists, monotheists, and other groups as outdated as the notion of substance dualism. I advocate a secularized spirituality with epistemic drive, clearly seeking normative proximity to the natural sciences.

At origin, philosophy itself etymologically engaged all areas before splintering again into particular sciences and disciplines. I accept and tolerate every form of religion, faith direction, alternative spiritual practice, and subculture, viewing them as approaches to perfect my own spirituality and approach my private ideal.

When asked for a good entry into the topic, I recommend Buddhism, as rudimentarily it's more a belief direction than religion and largely dispenses with deep doctrines.

It truly is a path of self-knowledge.

For a "boundless introduction," I recommend exploring the "Aloha Spirit," completely free of doctrines or boundaries to observe — just "love" as attitude, not emotion as often "hyped."

This is truly a way of authentic living.

What has been given to me since I can remember is the ability to grasp focused matters and things from their end — in their completion (in becoming). Initially in my younger years unconsciously and rather weakly, mostly paired with strong fantasies, it proved very helpful during my time on the stock exchange. Later heavily distorted and singular by alcohol, with maturing consciousness it became ever more precise. Today I handle it well and consciously deploy it only for myself and my family.

It doesn't appear spectacular, but picture it this way: when things are presented to me, I can state whether something will work or fail — regardless of the subject matter. More than intuition, less than seeing the future; somehow in between. I grasp answers extremely quickly, as if they already existed and merely needed querying, allowing me to then suggest corrections for apparent defects.

It's somehow like observing a cycle during its manifestation — emergence, peak, and inevitable decay at the end. A perception from afar, from a point lying in the darkness of a distant future. Sometimes these cycles never even arise because endogenous assumptions prove false or parts are missing; I see that too.

The whole thing becomes problematic only when people I deal with can't follow me. That's not on them, but rather my inability to convey matters precisely in short order. Simply put, like many others, in these phases of my consciousness I think and feel in a symbolic meta-language not always immediately explainable.

Useful or not, this gift has always intuitively protected me, and I practically never use it for third parties. The reason is straightforward: most people don't want to hear about their failure before it happens. In our sociocultural conception of the universe — with chance and destiny — it's hard to comprehend, especially since most still believe in linear time.

In my world, this universe is a multiverse: an infinite determined chaos of possibilities and impossibilities, consisting of just as many connections that exist, emerge, and vanish again, seemingly without discernible patterns. It's a world where failure serves as the royal road to genuinely touching the truthfulness of being — moments devalued and stigmatized in our sociocultural perception, though precisely the opposite holds true.

Unfortunately in my immediate environment, it's often misinterpreted as procrastination, since one thought rapidly spawns many, creating an impression of motionlessness; yet here too, the exact opposite applies. Consider a spinning wheel: the faster it turns, the less it seems to move.

Well, and fundamentally even rather obstructive, for if something is truly good enough to hold my interest, I become highly enthusiastic very quickly. This routinely makes me forget space and time, and combined with my loyalty, regularly disadvantages me. It costs me time, money, and above all credibility every time. Thus for some time now, I've excluded this aspect from my business models and deploy it targetedly only in personal controlling, self-reflection, and implementation of isolated proprietary projects in finance or programming complex algorithms.

In our knowledge alliance, you'll perceive this side of me whenever I pose questions seemingly far afield from the topic, apparently making no sense — please just ask then!

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